Why is self-compassion so important?

It is a reality that no matter how hard we try or how successful we are, there will always be someone that is richer, thinner, smarter, someone that makes us feel small in comparison. And in our modern world failure of any kind seems to be unacceptable. The end result is a world where most people believe that they are just not good enough.

How about having some compassion with yourself?

So, what is self-compassion? Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward yourself when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring your pain or beating yourself up with self-criticism.

When you are self-compassionate in the face of difficulty, you neither judge yourself harshly, nor feel the need to over sensitively focus on all your great qualities to protect your ego. Higher self-compassion results in higher levels of personal well-being, optimism and happiness, and to less depression and anxiety. In fact, practicing self-compassion will inevitably result in an improvement in self-worth and self-esteem.

Herewith some tips on how you grow your self-compassion:

1. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness is vital for self-compassion!

It is a reality: we all make mistakes. Yet, not all of us forgive ourselves. Forgiveness starts with realising that you cannot go back and change the facts. Then it is important to realise that it was not you that was bad, but rather your behaviour. Tell yourself and others that you are sorry. Yes, try it – tell yourself out loud that you are sorry for what you did.

2. Have an attitude of gratitude

In my opinion the power of gratitude is still underestimated. Feeling gratitude is very powerful. Rather than focusing on what we do not have, there is strength in appreciating what we do have, right now. By focusing on your blessings, you move the focus away from your shortcomings towards the outside world with all its beauty.

3. Treat yourself as a friend

Our thoughts as incredibly powerful. Become aware of how you think about yourself. If you continuously tell yourself you are unworthy, unforgivable or pathetic, you will soon start to believe it! Ask yourself: would you say all these things about a good friend? I doubt!

When you talk to yourself in your mind, pretend that you are talking to a dear friend. Also, when you talk to others, be weary of how you speak about yourself. “I am today really stupid” is not what you would say about a dear friend.

4. Have fun

When you struggle with shame you often deprive yourself from having fun as you might believe that you do not deserve it. This approach makes a tough situation even harder.

Allow yourself to engage in joyful, uplifting, and exciting experiences.

5. Engage with others

Most people beat themselves up in private and withdraw from the outside world.

When you open yourself up to sharing who you are with others, you will soon see that you are not alone, your problems are not unique, your feelings are not unique.

Knowing that you are not alone makes the burden lighter.

6. Take care of your body and mind

One of the most compassionate things that you can do for yourself is to take care of your body and mind. Fill your body and mind with positive things likes healthy food and healthy conversations. Being mindful of what you consume and what you do with your energy is an important part of self-compassion.

Perhaps you can try some of these self-compassion affirmations as part of your mind’s diet:

I accept the best and worst aspects of who I am.
My mistakes just show that I am growing and learning.
I forgive myself and accept my flaws.

Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need. Kristin Neff

More about me: I am a Leadership and certified Master Life Transformation Coach specialising in coaching you to achieve a transformed personal life and a transformed work-life. In addition, I also practise Hypnosis as a separate modality or as a blend with Coaching. All my programs and sessions are custom-made for your needs.