“The Future Depends on What You Do Today”

What is EQ? Can I increase my EQ?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one’s own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with the feelings of others. EQ is undeniably an essential foundation for all close personal relationships. Unlike IQ, which does not change significantly over a lifetime, your EQ can develop and increase with your desire to learn and grow.

One of the most important aspects of EQ is the ability to manage your negative emotions so that they don’t overwhelm you or negatively impact your judgement. Your emotions are a direct result of how you see and experience the world and those around you and in order to change your emotions, you have to change how you think about things.

Higher EQ is characterised by the ability to have a lower fear of rejection and the ability to stay calm and manage stress levels effectively. Furthermore, a person with higher EQ has the ability to be assertive, be proactive and bounce back from adversity.

I am sure many of you would think this is much easier said than done! Herewith some useful tips to increase your EQ:

  1. Reflect on your emotions

Take some time to sit down and reflect on your own use of emotions. For example, think about how you typically respond when: You read an email that implies you dropped the ball; You get NO for answer to something you really want; Your significant other blames you for something you feel is unfair; Another driver cuts you off on the highway; or A close friend or fellow worker begins to cry unexpectedly.

By first identifying your own emotions and reactions, you become more mindful and start the process of building control over your behaviour.

  1. Ask others for perspective

Often, you don’t realise that other people view you much differently than what you view yourself, and vice versa. It’s not about right or wrong; it’s simply understanding how perceptions differ, and the consequences those differences create.

By asking those close to you about your interactions with them, you can learn from their perspective.

  1. Have multiple options for difficult situations

When you put all your emotional eggs in one basket, it increases your stress levels substantially. The more options you have, the easier it is. You now have a plan B and a plan C should plan A not succeed.

  1. Breath and take a walk

When you feel nervous or anxious, take a walk and get some fresh air. There is nothing like a change in focus from your situation to nature to calm you down. The more active you can be, the better. It is amazing how a walk, run or work-out can clear your mind and help you see things in perspective.

  1. There is nothing wrong in speaking your mind

The problem normally comes in with the emotions that are associated with the words you speak. Take a deep breath into your stomach and drop your shoulders; now try to speak your mind without the associated emotions.

Avoid sentences that start with “you” and followed by accusations like “you should”, “you are”, etc.

  1. Be proactive, as opposed to be reactive

The longer you procrastinate and let the situation be, the more you stress about it! Breath, think and tackle the bull by the horns.

  1. Learn to bounce back

Life is not always easy. We all know that. How you choose the way you think, feel, and act in relation to life’s challenges can often make the difference between hope versus despair, and victory versus defeat. With every challenging situation you encounter, ask questions such as “What is the lesson here?” “How can I learn from this experience?” “What is most important now?” and “If I think outside the box, what are some better answers?”

  1. Build positive body-language

Positive eye contact, hugging, smiling, patting the elbow, arm around the shoulder – these are all positive gestures that have a positive emotional impact on others.

  1. Seek help

With the help of a life transformation coach you can increase your EQ within a very short space of time. I have a number of clients’ whose EQ have increase with as much as 40% after completing my life transformation coaching program of 16 hours. They have a new look on life and find lasting happiness and contentment.

No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.  Jack Welch